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I’m ok « Corey Evan | Worship Leader

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I’m ok

My youngest daughter Gabby when she was first developing her “life of the party” personality had a phrase she would always say when she would fall down. She was two years old, and as most toddlers do,  she would fall down frequently. Whenever she would fall, however, she would shout: ” whoops… I’m ok!”. This was so funny to my wife and me, and even now as I’m typing this, I’m smiling. It was cute and funny every time, and  it was  re-assuring. As a parent you hear “thuds” all the time in your home, and each time, you’re hoping that there isn’t some serious injury to one of your babies that you have to attend to. Baby Gabby’s “I’m ok” assured us that our baby was fine.

I believe there is a lesson to be learned about falling from my daughter. We often hear the phrase: “when you fall, get back up”, and we’ve all learned to do just that. We get up, but we aren’t ok. We carry scars and pain from our falls, and we walk slowly so as not to fall again. Guilt rides on our back like a schoolbag full of  books made  of cement. Our legs are weak and our morale is low. We feel like failures, hypocrites, and losers without the ability within us to overcome. Although this feeling is from inside of ourselves, it doesn’t originate there.

Through the years the misguided idea that God is only ok with us when we do, think, and feel “right” has been widely accepted, and that idea lies in our souls. We draw from that idea when we fall, and that is why we feel like such scum when we fall. We believe God is angry with us, and that we have disappointed Him. I know that God is holy in all of His ways, and that He hates sin. I also know that God is full of love and compassion.

In Psalm 139:3, David says to the Lord: You discern my going and You are familiar with my ways. That scripture, nor the statement that God is rich in mercy are new ideas, but I looked deeper into this passage and found something I desperately needed to know about my Father. The word discern, in this passage  means: “to separate mentally or distinguish, to understand”. Familiar in this passage has the same meaning that we’ve all become accustomed to. It means: acquainted with, to know, or be friends with. When I plugged these meanings into that scripture I learned something about God that I don’t know that I fully grasped before.

God is ok with me. God has intimate knowledge of who I am and why I do, think, and feel the things I do. He separates those things from who I am so that He can draw close and meet me where I am. When we fall, our Heavenly Father is still ok with us because He knows our hearts. He knows our going. He is familiar with our ways. We didn’t surprise Him when we took the sharp left when He wanted us to go right. I hope this encourages you as you read it. God wants you to know today that when you fall, He’s not angry with you. You’re not a failure, loser, scum bag, or hypocrite. Learn to not only get up, but be aware enough of God’s love to shout like baby Gabby: “I’m ok!”